Chapter 26: Practice Redirecting Misbehavior
The last two chapters were jam packed with some of the most important information in this entire guidebook. So I want you to have time to digest and process it — and practice the skills.
As I said in the last chapter, Redirecting misbehavior is quite possibly the most important step of the PASRR formula and the one most parents skip. In fact, if you skip this step it almost doesn’t matter what discipline you use, it will either not get results or get turned into punishment (I’ll explain why in the next chapter.) So it’s important to really grasp this lesson.
So take an extra day to absorb the last two chapters and practice applying the skills.
Here are the assignments again:
- Consider a problematic behavior your child has now or has shown in the past.
- Identify whether this behavior is PU or PO.
- If you think it is sometimes PU and sometimes PO, identify what seems to make the difference. Is the child getting a payoff for the PU behavior and repeating it deliberately?
- If or when the behavior is PU, plan an effective response that follows the PASRR formula. Think about what skill the child needs to learn/master. Incorporate teaching skills into your response. If/When it happens again, plan which of the above tools you want to use.
- Feel free to share your plans with others in the comment section and get their ideas and feedback. Then be sure to share your results!
1) Take a misbehavior that seems intentional.
2) Plan the first three steps of the PASRR formula:
a) How can I Prevent it? If it happens again, what will I say?
In one sentence:
b) Acknowledge the child’s feelings.
c) Set limits or express concerns.
3) Now plan what to do, by Redirecting it, using the steps above:
a) What is the child’s goal?
b) What do I need to avoid doing?
c) How can I show the child how to meet this purpose through positive behavior?
4) Feel free to share your plan in the comment section so you can get support and ideas for your response and see how others are doing. Be sure to check back in later to report your results!
If you would like more information about the topics in this lesson, check out these links if you haven’t already done so:
- Read an excerpt from The Parent’s Toolshop book on what behavior to expect at different developmental stages
- Listen to the Misbehavior teleseminar to hear more information on how to apply the tools.
- After listening to the above audio, download and print off the cheat sheet for your fridge to use as a quick reminder.