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STEP C

PARENT PROBLEM TOOLBOX


 

230                                                                                     The Parent’s Toolshop

 

STEP

 C PARENT  PROBLEM  TOOLBOX

 

Once we enter a house, we can open the windows to let in fresh air and light or go to a bedroom. We can even explore the attic, where we store items that we don’t use every day but don’t want to throw away. Each part of the interior serves a specific purpose.

The inside of the Universal Blueprint’s house contains several toolsets that serve specific purposes. One window is the Keep Your Cool Toolset; we open it to release the toxic fumes of anger and let in fresh healthy feelings. The other window is the Clear Communication Toolset; it helps us communicate with others so they can see and understand our feelings and concerns more clearly. The two bedrooms contain the tools we need to redirect problem behavior; the PU Toolset responds to unintentional misbehavior and the PO Toolset redirects misbehavior that seems to be on purpose. Finally, the attic contains the Discipline Toolset; the tools we don’t use very often but can’t throw away. When we have a problem, we walk up the stairs (Prevention Toolbox), open the door (Child Problem Toolbox), and come into the house (Parent Problem Toolbox). We walk step-by-step through the house to find all the tools we need to resolve our part of the problem.

 

IN  THIS  SECTION

Step C: Parent Problem Toolbox. The last three steps of the PASRR formula are within this toolbox.

 

Step C1: Set limits and express your feelings or concerns.

  • Chapter 9, “Keep Your Cool Toolset,” teaches us healthy anger and stress management skills that we can also teach to our children.
  • Chapter 10, “Clear Communication Toolset,” teaches us assertive, respectful, effective verbal responses. When children misbehave, we take the next step.

Step C2: Redirect misbehavior.

  • Chapter 11, “PU Toolset” (Parent problem, Unintentional misbehavior), details the differences between PU and PO behavior and the options we have to redirect PU behavior.
  • Chapter 12, “PO Toolset” (Parent problem, “On purpose” misbehavior), teaches us how to identify the specific purpose behind PO behavior and which tools can prevent or stop it.

Step C3: Reveal discipline.

  • Chapter 13, “Discipline Toolset,” teaches us the difference between punishment and discipline, the four important parts of effective discipline, and the options available to us.

WHEN  TO  USE  THE  PARENT  PROBLEM  TOOLBOX

We only use the Parent Problem Toolbox when we have a concern or problem. When problems involve any of the SHARP RV issues (safety, health, appropriateness, rights, property, rules, or values), we use the Parent Problem Toolbox to plan our verbal response and any action needed. As with all the other tools in this book, we can use the Parent Problem Toolbox in adult relationships, too.