them accomplish a specific purpose. Children are unaware of their subconscious beliefs and behavior choices.
PO Toolset (Parent problem, “On purpose” misbehavior): Contains tools for identifying and redirecting misbehavior in children who have the skills to behave properly but choose not to.
Power-and-control children: Children who debate and argue, so they can have some power or control in a situation.
Power Patrol: The most extreme type of over-controlling parenting style, characterized by harsh, critical, power tactics. Its most extreme form is abusive.
Power time-outs: Make children go to a chair, room, or isolated spot every time they misbehave. The parent sets a timer and the parent makes sure the child doesn’t have any fun while there. Everything about the timeout is decided and controlled by the parent. This is a form of unhelpful punishment.
Praise: Comments that use judgmental labels that can accidentally cause discouragement or put negative pressure on others.
Praise junkies: People who must get praise and approval from others to feel good about themselves or who won’t do something unless they get recognition or rewards.
Prevention Toolbox: Contains toolsets that can prevent problems from developing or worsening.
Problem-Solving Toolset: Contains tools that teach independent, responsible problem-solving and decision-making skills without taking over and solving problems for others.
Progressive restrictions: Start with the least restriction and increase as the behavior continues.
PU (Parent problem, Unintentional misbehavior): The parent has a problem with misbehavior that is the result of the child’s lack of maturity, skills, or knowledge.
PU/PO mutations: When PU behavior gets a strong reaction, it can change (or mutate) into PO behavior. Because of the reaction, children believe the misbehavior can help them achieve a specific goal.
Pushing is an unrealistic pressured expectation to reach the final goal all at once.
PU Toolset (Parent problem, Unintentional misbehavior): Contains tools that redirect mis-behavior resulting from children’s lack skills.
Rebellion: A reaction to control. Every child individuates, but not all rebel. Individuation turns into rebellion when parents try to control children’s independence and individuality.
Regression: When children revert to old, out-grown habits.
Regressive restrictions: Start with the most restrictive but still reasonable limits. If all goes well, the next period is less restrictive, and so on, until all privileges are restored.
Response-ability: The ability to accept the consequences of the choices we make.
Ripple effect: When pebbles drop in a pond, the ripples start at the middle and expand outward. When one person in a family changes, it has some effect, usually small at first, but more obvious over time.
Role model: One who sets an example.
Routines: A regular, consistent way of doing a task or handling a situation.
Sarcasm: A form of passive-aggressive anger. It disguises anger, blame, and criticism with humor.
Secondary emotions: An emotion that comes after another feeling. The first feeling, which is closer to the real issue, causes the second feeling.
Self-esteem: How we feel about our inside qualities. This includes our worth as a human being, sense of purpose in life, and how lovable we think we are.
Self-Esteem Toolset: Contains tools that build self-esteem, encourage positive behavior, and stimulate internal motivation.
Self-image: What we think about our outside appearance, what we think others see. This includes our looks, talents, popularity, or accomplishments.
SHARP RV: The six problem areas that concern parents: Safety, Health,Appropriateness, Rights, Property, Rules,Values.
Smoldering embers: Slow buildups of stressful situations that eventually spill over or erupt.
Tattling: Telling an adult about another child’s behavior simply to get that child in trouble.